Fatness Will Fall: The FROST Granny
by BGWhovian
Summary: This IS a Doctor Who fanfiction. Don't worry. And there's TONS of black humour in this story, so be warned!
1. The Story of Some Guy

Before you read this read the backstory:

s/8614375/1/A-Stay-At-Hell

The Doctor will be in chapter 2 but don't worry chapter 1 is also EPIC! :D

**Fatness Will Fall: The F.R.O.S.T. Granny**

London! The city that survived "The Fall of Fat" (yes, well, that's when the FBW and Boss collapsed the building in the backstory… READ IT!). There was an enormous crater in the city centre... But there was something in that 14 miles deep hole! There was… FAT AND SPERM AND TURDS AND SWEAT… But there was something more important, something… alive!

*Theme tune and opening titles*

Shit! I forgot this isn't a movie…

So when the building collapsed there was a massive explosion (by the way that should have destroyed the entire Solar System but I wanted to make another part of the story so…). I almost forgot to mention that the living thing in the crater was… a fat woman. The sperm combined with the sweat and turds created the ultimate fat woman. The F.R.O.S.T. Granny!

**The Story of Some Guy**

**(Chapter 1)**

I was on a train to the countryside. When we stopped at London a fat woman got on. And of course that rhino eating, pig swallowing, boogey man scaring monster sat next to me. She was so fat that when she farted the train reached light speed! She was so fat that when they asked to check her ticket she showed five tickets! Oh and she was so old that the Big Bang was her first fart! And even then she was old! (Not older that Lili Ivanova of course, but still very old). I had to call her somehow so I made up the name "**F**at **R**eally **O**ld **S**melly **T**rain granny" or just F.R.O.S.T. granny. And that is when it all started…

At first I was afraid; I was petrified,  
Kept thinking I could never live with that fat woman by my side,

But then I spent so many nights thinking how can she be so fat,  
And she grew fat(ter), and I learned that she had no limits.

So you're fat, from outer space

I just walked in you to find lost souls with sad looks upon their faces…

Yeaaaa… Well… When she got on the train, the song "I will survive" suddenly came to my mind… And (god knows how) I did survive.

After two (LONG) minutes the train stopped because it had a flat tire. Oh yeah, you really just read that. Let's just say that a fat person on a train = flat tire.

So we were in the middle of nowhere. There were fields with grass and it was raining heavily. But the rain wasn't such a big problem because the F.R.O.S.T. granny was bigger and we hid under her from the rain. Well it wasn't very safe under her either because every lightning she ate caused a fart. So only a few of us managed to survive. Then I wanted to die so badly; that gas was worse than toxic… Ugh… Just… ugh…

I saw a small hut (unlike the F.R.O.S.T. granny). So while she was eating something brown I ran to the hut. The door was locked. Shit! That's it! There was a metal bucket. I took it and ran back under the granny's ass. Then I filled the bucket with shit, went back to the hut and melted the door with it. Fuck yeah! I'm good! Unfortunately a small turd fell on my foot and I lost it… God knows what she eats! Before entering the hut I looked back and saw everyone under the granny dead and a big brown cloud approaching. The grass, the trees, the animals, basically everything turned brown. That scared the guts out of me. Then I heard the roar, fart and burp of the F.R.O.S.T. granny… I thought that that was it, the end. When I finally looked inside the hut I saw… lots of junk. Old phones, broken cookers, dust everywhere… Oh and a strangely clean large blue police box. (Well, there was a brown stain on its window.)

I suppose you're expecting someone but he'll be in Chapter 2. AND IT WILL BE FAT!#

And I want to thank my betas AUM (AlTeRnAtE-UnIvErSe-MaStEr) and slashheart!


	2. The Doctor and The Fat

**The Doctor and the Fat**

**(Chapter 2)**

When I saw the box I thought that it might protect me at least a bit. The door was unlocked so I quickly got in. "What the fat?!" I screamed. It seemed like it was bigger on the inside (not as big as the F.R.O.S.T. granny of course). There was a ramp leading to a weird-looking machine. It had lots of buttons, levers, little lights and other stuff. And right in the middle was a glowing tube that looked like a huge dick…

Suddenly I heard footsteps on the metal floor coming from somewhere near. Then I realised that there was an awkwardly dressed man walking around that machine, configuring it or something. He stopped when he saw me.

"Who are you?" he asked me while bleeping me with a green vibrator. "How did you get into my TARDIS? And where the fuck is that smell coming from!? Did you fart?!"

I was just about to say something when he stopped me.

"Wait a minute…"

*1 minute later*

"I know that smell," he continued "That's a fat woman's fart! We must go!"

"Go where?" I asked.

The strange man pulled a lever and there was a short earthquake or something. Boom!

"We landed," he said.

"What do you mean landed? We're in a box".

"Listen so I don't have to repeat! I'm the Doctor, an alien. I'm over a thousand years old and this box is my spaceship. It's called the TARDIS which stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. I's bigger on the inside and can travel anywhere in time and space. Got it?"

"Um…"

"Good! Out we go!"

He ran down the ramp and through the doors. I followed him out. It was unbelievable… not that we were on the Moon and breathing, no. The unbelievable thing was how the Earth looked. It was completely brown and the smell… I could smell it on the Moon…

"What is this?" I asked.

"This is precisely one month into your future. The fart has killed mankind and all animals, trees, flowers… Everything is dead".

"Why are you showing me this? What can I do?!"

"You need to get inside her arsehole and throw an "Anti-FatFart" liquid to prevent this from ever happening".

"Inside her what?! No! No! No! Just imagining it makes me sick!"

"Don't worry… dead people don't remember," he said, smiled and entered the TARDIS again. I followed him of course.

"What do you mean? Will I die?"

"Well if you don't die there just remembering that you have been in a fat woman's anus will probably burn your mind".

"Why me?"

"Because it won't be me".

"Why not?"

"Because fuck you, that's why!"

"Seems legit".

**I know that this chapter wasn't very good and I'm sorry for that. The main reason is that recently I don't get many good ideas (you probably don't care).**

**Chapter**** 3 will be** the final chapter so I'll do my best! That is a promise!


	3. Fat Killer

**Fat Killer**

**(Chapter 3)**

Boom! The TARDIS landed!

"We're here!" said the Doctor and ran down to the door.

"Here? Here where?" I was confused as a turd on Mars…

"Now that was a brilliant sentence you just said!" he said. "Step out and see the wonders of the Universe!"

I was as excited as a… let's just skip the comparisons. So I went out the doors and froze… The Doctor came to me and said, "Welcome to the planet Fatso!" There were fat people everywhere! The TARDIS had landed between two fake (and thank god) arse cheeks.

Everything was made of fat. Even the buildings were big fat arse-shaped! Impossibly the sky was also made of fat and the air was 25% fat.

"Why the [CENSORED] are we here?!" I asked the Doctor.

"Look there!" said the Doctor and pointed to a (fat) sign on top of a (fat) building saying "Liquid Potions".

"Aren't all potions liquid?"

"I'll explain later…"

He didn't explain later. So we went through the doors of the building and BOOM! Guess what! More fat! It was a (fat) shop. Well it looked like a shop… But I'm certain about one thing… the fat of course. And there she was… the fat saleswoman.

"What will it be Doctor?" she asked.

"Anti-FatFart" he said.

She lifted her huge arse from that poor chair and went to a shelf with bottled potions. She grabbed one which was shaped like a fart. (You may ask something like "Shaped like a fart?! WTF?!" I'll explain later…)

"That would be *&(%#%, Doctor".

"I only have a doughnut…" he said.

"FOOD! That works too!" she said.

After leaving the shop we realised that the road was blocked and we couldn't get back to the TARDIS. Fat people were walking and yelling "Feed us more!"

"What the fat…" I said.

"This would be the annual Obesity Parade" he answered while laughing.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Because we're fucked!" he screamed. "It takes them days to get their fat arses off the streets!"

*After a looooooooooooooong wait*

The Doctor grew a beard. I was counting the atoms of the planet for the third time… when finally the fat people were gone!

"Now here's the plan," the Doctor said. "I'll take you to the anus of that behemoth, but the TARDIS probably won't take it for more than a few minutes so you'll have to be fast!"

"And what if I don't make it?" I asked.

"Well, it's like when you enter a black hole – in the end you get squashed."

"That's a relief."

"Is it?" The Doctor asked, and without waiting for an answer he entered the TARDIS.

*A few minutes later in the TARDIS*

"Okay," the Doctor suddenly started talking, "in precisely 35.76 seconds the TARDIS will materialize in the FROST granny's anus, so be ready!"

I held the potion in my hand in front of the door. Ten seconds to go. Five, four, three, two, one… VworpBOOM!

"Go!" the Doctor cried.

I ran out the doors and started opening the bottle. The TARDIS was making loud noises, the smell had almost knocked me out. No oxygen left! Opened the bottle and spilled it around in the large intestine of the FROST granny! (That was one unique sentence!). The fat started shaking, the TARDIS was dematerializing and I was completely played out… when suddenly the Doctor came and pulled me inside. After that I just fell unconscious.

After my sleep I could feel something on my face. I opened my eyes and saw two big boobs. I immediately got up and looked around. There were the grass fields and the small hut, but no FROST granny, only a young beautiful boobed girl. She was standing right in front of me as I was staring at her two big 'talents'. She didn't seem to mind.

After a 30 minute stare the Doctor came out of nowhere.

"I see you've met the unFROST girl," he said. "That's what the Anti-FatFart potion does."

"Dude!" I screamed. "Can you get me some more of those?!"

He smiled and flied away with the TARDIS.

"Well, fuck you!" I said.

But at least I had the unFROST girl with me. So I raped her a bunch of times. And that is my happy end!

**Many readers might have found this story rather disturbing, and I don't blame them. I myself found it quite disturbing while writing it, but I was forced to write it that way by my betas ****AUM (AlTeRnAtE-UnIvErSe-MaStEr) and slashheart****!**


End file.
